I recently moved and needed to get an Internet connection going at my new place. While I’ve always had a distaste for Verizon from previous experiences, they’ve taken measures to “soothe” their new customers with this tactless email, bad grammar and all:

Thank you for your recent order for Verizon Online DSL service! We’re eager to deliver the power of high-speed Internet access to you, but we must first conduct additional testing of your line to ensure DSL can be provided*.

…

*Please note that although your location pre-qualified for DSL in the initial stages of the order process, further testing may reveal that your address does not qualify for DSL.

This message was send from a notification-only e-mail address that cannot accept incoming e-mail messages. Please do not reply.

So they were just kidding about the service being available and ready yto go when they collected my credit card information and they kindly asked that I don’t pester them about the current situation. Nice one, Verizon.